One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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