Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
