Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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