yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
