Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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