Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Your cock deserves a montage
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
