shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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