He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
