You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
