almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
