help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize