I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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