Did you just see the Batmobile???
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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