finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
