This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
