i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
