Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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