somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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