Old men and throwing up are my life now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
