dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
