No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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