god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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