Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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