of course. lets lasso hookers.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
