addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
