that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
