I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
