Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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