There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
