They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
