it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
