threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize