Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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