Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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