Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
