My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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