Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
