Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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