ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
