We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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