I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
