People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
