no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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