i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
