Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
