i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
