I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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