If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
