How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
