New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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