Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
