The best revenge is premature balding
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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