ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
