Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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