this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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