She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
