My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
