I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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