I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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