WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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