But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
