If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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