Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
