I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
