Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
True but thats because hes a fetus.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
