Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Text me some of your sweat
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