Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
