do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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