the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
