he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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