Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
