from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
