Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I won the penis lottery.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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