i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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