we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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