ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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