marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
