It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my being single is dangerous.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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