Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
